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The Legacy Collection

Preparing the Bride

Volume I

"Preparing the Bride"

Three Simple Rules

By
Dennis Fischer

Summary: By Blow the Trumpet

The words that appear in this Volume reflect a transcript of a sermon presented by Mr. Dennis Fischer on May 27, 2017 to a congregation of the United Church of God.

It was prompted by an emerging discussion within many fellowships concerning the role of a hierarchy within marriage and specifically whether a wife has a scriptural obligation to obey her husband. Mr. Fischer was approached by people on both sides and asked to weigh in on the subject. Despite his concern over the potential combustible nature of the issue he consented.

Although not an ordained minister Mr. Fischer is a long-standing member of God’s Church and has spoken as well as written prolifically about God’s Kingdom, His Plan and His People. This particular offering is included in our Legacy Collection because of its remarkable clarity when addressing a critical end time issue facing God’s people today. Additionally, we believe based on feedback it had a significant impact on those few who heard it. In other words, it made a difference. One wife in attendance actually approached him after services and confessed: “I NEVER thought I could ever be persuaded to change my opinion on this—even by you. I was wrong.” She was crying when she offered these words. Additionally, a clergyman from another major denomination altogether (Mormon) received a copy (transcript) of the message and contacted Fischer requesting permission to include it in marriage classes he prepared for LDS couples about to embark on a new life together. Mr. Fischer consented.

And now, we at Blow the Trumpet are honored to present the Legacy Collection’s first installment “Preparing the Bride: Three Simple Rules.” We hope it makes a difference in your life.

Sermon

Salutation:

Good afternoon everyone. And a good Sabbath to you all.

Brethren, the message you are about to hear addresses an issue of extraordinary significance and immense importance. I say this because it involves a genuine threat to a sacred trust God Himself has placed in our care—and the clear and present danger this threat poses if we should somehow fail in this charge.

Disclosure

Now in the interest of full disclosure I must advise you that this particular message is considerably longer than those I usually present. However, with that said, it is my sincerest hope, that you will find it both honest and informative and that in the end, you will be genuinely encouraged by it as well as made better because of it.

For those who like titles this one is called “Preparing the Bride, Three Simple Rules.” So let’s begin. Listen carefully my friends, Listen very carefully

Introduction:

Brethren, I suspect that very few people in the Churches of God have ever heard of Ti-Grace Atkinson. Ms. Atkinson was a founding member of a radical political movement called “The Feminists” and was a former president of the New York chapter of the National organization of Women.

She once claimed to have identified the root cause of a great human injustice which she actually likened to slavery. According to one major publication Ms. Atkinson, and I quote:

“…seeks to eliminate sex, marriage, motherhood and love, claiming that marriage is legalized servitude. That the male-female relationship is the basis for all human oppression.”

Gloria Steinem

Then there is Gloria Steinem—a more familiar character in our cultural and political landscape. Ms. Steinem was a prominent sociopolitical activist and one of the architects of the feminist movement. She was actually instrumental in defining the movement in the late sixties and seventies.

When giving a speech in Houston, Texas, she presented her solution for rescuing the family from a horrible inequality it suffered. Here are her exact words: And once again I quote:

“For the sake of those who wish to live in equal partnership, we have to abolish and reform the institution of legal marriage.” Gloria Steinem, speech at IWY Conference, Houston, TX 1977
Earlier, when postulating her vision of the 21st century, Ms. Steinem offered the following: And I Quote:

“By the year 2000 we will, I hope, raise our children to believe in human potential, not God…” Gloria Steinem, editor of Ms. Magazine, Saturday Review of Education, March 1973

But it doesn’t end there.

Dr. Mary Jo Bane

Dr. Mary Jo Bane, a professor of public policy at Harvard University made a very interesting observation in which she asserted that the traditional family was destructive to children and a mortal enemy of equality. And once again, I quote:

“What happens to children depends not only on what happens in the home, but what happens in the outside world. We really don’t know how to raise children. If we want to talk about equality of opportunity for children, then the fact that children are raised in families means there is no equality.

It’s a dilemma. In order to raise children with equality, we must take them away from families and communally raise them.” Dr. Mary Jo Bane, Tulsa World, August 21, 1977, Associated Press.

Then, in an interview reported by the Associated Press, Dr. Bane opined that marriage can actually be made better by divorce. Brethren, once again I am NOT making this up. And I quote:
“As for divorce, it is a ‘safety valve’ for families. It makes for better family life. There’s no merit in holding families together just for the sake of it. For this reason, divorce improves the quality of marriages.” Tulsa World, August 21, 1977, Associated Press.

Feminism’s War on Traditional Marriage

Brethren, feminism’s war on traditional marriage has also been declared in some of its most celebrated documents.

For example: In Women’s Liberation, Notes from the Second Year it says:

“We must destroy love… Love promotes vulnerability, dependence, possessiveness, susceptibility to pain, and prevents the full development of woman’s human potential by directing all her energies outward in the interest of others.”

I’m just curious but why would a wife and mother who chooses to dedicate her energy to her children and spouse pose a threat to anyone?
The Declaration of Feminism

Then there is the Declaration of Feminism. I’ll bet you never knew there was such a thing. Well think again. And I quote.

“Marriage has existed for the benefit of men and has been a legally sanctioned method of control over women… the end of the institution of marriage is a necessary condition for the liberation of women.”

It goes on to say:

“Therefore, it is important for us to encourage women to leave their husbands and not to live individually with men… we must work to destroy it (marriage).”

An Assault on Families (Casualties)

Brethren, the result of contemporary secular wisdom (such as we just heard) thrusting its will on marriage and family can be truly devastating. Consider just a few examples of what discordant marriages and the dysfunctional families they create offer:

And believe me, it’s not pleasant.

For example:

Dysfunctional Families

Children in such familial relationships suffer emotional scars that will shape in them a cynical view of love, devotion and commitment—leading them to embrace a plethora of poor moral and ethical choices.

It is also a place where parents will abandon the vows they made and walk away from a sacred trust.

Where Fathers will leave the home and never return

Where Mothers will leave their children in the care of strangers because they are simply overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for them themselves

Where homes, which were once filled with hope and optimism have now become war zones punctuated by discord, strife and violence.

Break down marriage and you break down the family. Break down the family and all that is left is domestic anarchy and moral chaos. I have seen this. And tragically I have seen it in God’s Church. I suspect many of you have seen it as well

Brethren, there are COG members including ministers whose marriages have become so rancorous and toxic that they actually resorted to murder and suicide to escape its horrors.

Now, for the good news.
A Time of Joy

Brethren, the scriptures promise that eventually there will be a time of unbridled joy for the human family—A time when all the emotional carnage and suffering it brings will finally end. And in its place will be great peace, great prosperity, great health and great hope. And remarkably, at the center of this wonderful moment is a wedding.

The book of Revelation records the actual proclamation from heaven itself announcing this event Here, the apostle John is taken in vision into the third heaven where he hears a great voluminous roar speaking in unison. Here is how he describes it

And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunderings, saying, “Alleluia: for the Lord God Omnipotent reigns. Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come and His bride has made herself ready.

And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of the saints. And he said unto me, “Write this, ‘Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb.’” (Rev. 19:6-9)

The Majesty of the Wedding
Brethren, it is hard to imagine an event possessing greater beauty and majesty than the marriage of God’s Son and His Saints. And although the scriptures do not specifically identify the precise location of this wedding, there are some who believe it will actually take place at the home of God the Father in the third heaven—which by the way, is an opinion I share.

But wherever it occurs, one thing is for certain it will be spectacular beyond imagination. And its guest list will read like a “Who’s Who” in the universe.

The Wedding Psalm

Brethren, in the Old Testament there is a Psalm with a powerful message that may very well be about the event described in Revelation 19.

It actually speaks of a great wedding between a King and a Queen and is appropriately called “The Wedding Psalm,” Its words begin with a description of:

A royal bridegroom

His transcendent Excellency

His bravery

The glory of his victories

His virtue

The righteousness of his government

The splendor of his court

And the honor He rightfully receives from God Almighty.

It then transitions to:

The royal bride

Her consent gained

Her wedding garments

Her beauty

Its impact on her King

How she has captured the King's heart, and

The solemnity of their love

There are some who believe that this Psalm will actually be recited at the wedding between Christ and His Church and may very well come from the lips of an angelic herald.

It begins by addressing the King and is found in Psalm 45. Please go there.
Psalm 45
Good News Translation

Brethren, when assembling this passage, I employed several translations. This was done to capture the emotional impact of this event in words more familiar to our speech. The primary text comes from the Good news Translation.

Now imaging these words being uttered by a spectacular angelic creature

As he appears before a great company of witnesses He steps forth and begins to speak. The wedding is about to commence.

Verse 1
Beautiful words fill my mind,
as I compose this song for the king.
Like the pen of a good writer
my tongue is ready with a poem.
2. You are the most handsome of men;
you are of eloquent voice.
God has always blessed you.
3. Buckle on your sword, mighty king;
you are glorious and majestic.
4. Ride on in majesty to victory
for the defense of truth and justice!
Your strength will win you great victories!
5. Your arrows are sharp,
they pierce the hearts of your enemies;
nations fall down at your feet.
6. The kingdom that God has given you
will last forever and ever.
You will rule over your people with justice;
7. you love what is right and abhor what is evil.
That is why God, your God, has chosen you
and has poured out more happiness on you
than on any other king.
8. The perfume of myrrh and aloes is on your garments;
musicians entertain you in palaces decorated with ivory.
9. Among the women of your court are daughters of kings,
and at the right hand of your throne stands the queen,
wearing ornaments of the finest gold.
The words now address the Queen
Verse 10
Bride of the king, listen to what I say—
forget your people and your relatives.
11. Your beauty will make the king desire you;
he is your Lord now, honor him.
12. The people of Tyre will bring you gifts;
rich people will try to win your favor.
The Psalm then addresses the Guests
Verse 13
The princess is in the palace—how beautiful she is!
Her gown is made of gold thread.
14. In her colorful gown she is led to the king,
followed by her bridesmaids,
and they also are brought to him.
15. With joy and gladness they come
and enter the king's palace.
The Psalm concludes by returning to the King
Verse 16
You, my king, will have many children
and you will make them rulers over the whole earth.
17. My song will keep your fame alive forever,
and everyone will praise you for all time to come.

Brethren, it doesn’t take allot of imagination to see the great splendor and drama in these words. Now consider this: They may very well be speaking of you
Preparing the Bride

My dear Church family, it is here that I would like to present a critical point—one that is absolutely essential for any of this to happen. To do so we must return to the book of Revelation. We just read this but one verse in particular bears repeating. And I suspect you know which one.
Revelation 19:7
Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come and His bride hath made herself ready.
The Question of the Day

Brethren, this now brings us to the question of the day. How does the bride make herself ready? How does she prepare herself? And can her preparation be applied to our physical unions today? In other words, are there lessons God wants us to draw from marriage in this life that relate directly to our future union as the bride of His Beloved Son? Good news everyone, the answer is YES.

A Perfect Formula

Brethren, today I would like to offer for your consideration a formula, which if applied, will result in a vibrant and hope filled marriage in this life as well as in the next. And it applies to virtually every believer whether married, betrothed, single, estranged or widowed.

The formula involves three simple rules. By simple I mean they are not complex or intricate. Furthermore, these rules do not require you to possess:

Extraordinary intellect,

Exceptional physical strength or prowess,

Amazing agility or dexterity

Or even Stunning beauty and charm

And today, it is my great honor to share them with you.

So, let’s begin...

Rule I

Fully Comprehend the Spiritual
Underpinnings of Marriage and its
Transcendent Purpose

Brethren, truly grasping how and why God created the union between a man and a woman will provide you with an extraordinary appreciation of this remarkable institution—an appreciation that can be acquired no other way.

The apostle Paul once referred to marriage as a “mystery”. And this rule is the only key that can truly unlock it. To understand this mystery, we must go back to the very beginning—to the creation of the first human family. Here God begins by creating man.
Genesis 2:7

And the LORD God formed man out of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
A Critical Flaw

However, at some point, God reveals a flaw in man. That’s right, a flaw. But this particular flaw was specifically engineered in him. In other words, God created it. This is because the “flaw” had meaning and purpose.

Brethren, the Great Creator and Sustainer of the infinite was going to use it to illustrate a powerful lesson with eternal implications

He would now introduce the flaw as well as its remedy.
Genesis 2:18

And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone (in other words He was not designed or created to live a life of solitude);

It is here that an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving infinite master architect introduces the solution, and He does so in nine short words. And I quote. “I will make him a help meet for him.”
A Priceless Component

Gentlemen, it is here that I want you to listen VERY carefully. At some point after this, although we do not know precisely when—God fashions an absolutely priceless component to the human family. A component that will in fact, correct the flaw and dare I say “Complete the man.”
Genesis 2:21-22

And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and presented her to the man.

God Provides Critical Information
Concerning Eve

At this point it is almost certain that God revealed to Adam how Eve came into being. And when doing so explained that his new companion was literally a part of him and that he was intimately linked to her by flesh and bone as well as by God’s creative power and wisdom. Upon hearing this Adam spoke and when doing so may have expressed the first phonetic utterance Eve would ever hear come from his lips. Notice what he said.
Genesis 2:23

“This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
The wisdom of Paul

Brethren, some 4000 years later God would use the apostle Paul to reveal a valuable lesson about this particular creative endeavor. It is recorded in his first epistle to the Church at Corinth.
1 Corinthians 11:8-9

8. For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.

9. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

Brethren, here, God’s apostle is confirming the historical narrative recorded in Genesis. However, when doing so he also reveals a profound lesson that must be drawn from this creative moment—continuing in verse 11.

1 Corinthians 11:11

11. "Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 11:12

12. “For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.”

The Point
Brethren, what is being said here is that it is true that the very first woman owes her existence to the man. However, it is equally true that every other man who has ever walked on the planet including the Messiah Himself owes his earthly existence to a woman.

The point Paul is making is that neither the man nor the woman has preeminence over the other in God’s creative plan for the human family. In other words, there are no bragging rights here. Both play equal roles in it

But alas the story continues...
The First Marriage

After presenting Adam with a companion with whom he would share life’s great adventures, God would join them together in marriage
Genesis 2:24

“Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
Brethren, if there are any doubts about this being an actual wedding (and I have actually heard people express such doubts), they are put to rest by none other than the Messiah Himself
Christ Regarding Marriage

When speaking to the religious leaders of His day Jesus affirms the legitimacy of the marriage between the first man and the first woman and even revealed the role He played in it.

Matthew 19:1-3

“And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan; and great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.”

“The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, ‘Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?’”

Brethren, there are some who believe that with this question the Pharisees were attempting to discredit Jesus by getting Him to contradict Moses and the law.

Others have suggested that they may have been attempting to entangle Him in the situation involving Herod (Antipas) and his wife Herodias, As you know, Herod had already been indicted by John the Baptist for taking his brother’s wife and as a result John was imprisoned and ultimately executed. Perhaps these men were hoping Jesus would meet with a similar fate.

The Spiritual Underpinnings of Marriage

However, regardless of their motivation, the Messiah responds and when doing so introduces the spiritual underpinnings of marriage—which is revealed in the source of its creation. Pick it up in verse 4.

Matthew 19:4-5

“And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,”

Here’s why:

“For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.”

Here, Jesus confirms the very words uttered in the Garden of Eden. But He continues:

Matthew 19:6-7

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

“They then said unto him, ‘Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?’”
A Calculated Question

Now brethren, with this question (a calculated one at that) the Pharisees were addressing Moses’ instructions in Deuteronomy 24:1-4 which permitted divorce on the grounds of “erwat dabar” (something indecent) such as a moral or sexual depravity. It also prohibited a twice divorced woman from marrying her first husband.

Jesus Answers
Jesus now provides the answer and when doing so goes right to the beginning.
Matthew 19:8

“He [Jesus] saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.”

In other words it was never intended to be.

We now have the spiritual underpinnings of marriage. Here it is.

Marriage is a union whose foundation was specifically engineered, designed and created by the Lord God Almighty and was even presided over by Him. In other words, His signature is on every part of it—a fact you should carry with you every step of your marriage.

But there is more.
The Transcendence of Marriage

When writing about marriage to the Church at Ephesus, the apostle Paul introduces its transcendent purpose. His words add the single most significant component to this remarkable union. This is because they literally reveal its sacredness—its divine nature if you will..

Brethren, under the inspiration of the holy spirit Paul not only provides the WHAT of marriage and the HOW of marriage, he reveals the WHY of marriage. And when doing so, he too returns to the beginning with words most familiar.
Ephesians 5:31

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”

Here Paul employs the same language expressed in the Garden of Eden and proclaimed by Christ in the Gospels. However, Paul went even further. He revealed what it all meant.
Listen carefully everyone.
Ephesians 5:32

“This is a great mystery: I speak concerning Christ and the Church.”
Brethren, do you hear it? And more importantly, do you grasp it?

The point Paul is making is that the physical union between a man and a woman in this life actually pictures a great spiritual union between God’s beloved Son and His Church in the next.

So significant is this point that it is the only reason He created marriage in the first place.

A Final Thought

Here is a final thought on this particular rule

Brethren, to a true believer the marriage of Christ and His bride is the crowning achievement of our existence. And I suspect that if we could fully comprehend its’ true Spiritual Underpinnings (designed and fashioned by God Himself) and its’ Transcendent Purpose (picturing an eternal union between the Messiah and His Church), we would never regard it nor treat it the same way again. We would see it for what it truly is—HOLY and SACRED.

We now come to the second Rule.

Listen carefully everyone.
Rule II
Jesus Christ must be the Uncompromising
Center of Your Marriage and Your Life
Brethren, I suspect that if you were to ask every member of God’s Church “Who or what is the most important thing in their life?”—every one of them would identify something related to God. In other words,

God is first

Jesus is first

His Kingdom is first

His virtue is first

His righteousness is first

His character is first

Everything else comes after that. On this point I am fully persuaded there would be universal agreement

However, if you were to ask these same people if it was permissible for a converted baptized member of God’s Church to marry an unbaptized member or even a member of another denomination altogether the answer you would receive would be significantly different—perhaps even contentious

I know this because I have personally been a part of such discussions with members and ministers alike.

Now at this point I would like to share a true story—one that illustrates why I personally believe as I do on this question
Marrying outside the Faith
Several years ago a member of a well-respected fellowship, approached his pastor and inquired about marrying outside the Church. He informed him that for nearly a year he had been dating a young lady he had met at his job and it had now gotten serious. He then explained that although this lady was “spiritual” she was not at all interested in organized religion and would not be getting involved in the Church

However, he also assured his pastor that she was genuinely respectful of his faith and that neither of them believed it would pose a problem.

After counseling with both of them, his pastor (surprisingly) offered his blessing on the marriage. He defended his position on the grounds that it was better to “marry than to burn,” citing 1 Corinthians 7:9. Now the word “burn” in this verse means to burn with sexual desire. Thus, what Paul was saying in effect was that it was better to marry than to risk committing fornication

This minister also claimed that the issue was an administrative decision involving Church policy not biblical doctrine. In other words, there is no “thus saith the Lord here.”

Tragically, what he failed to do was to explain how his decision could be reconciled with Paul’s admonition to not become unequally yoked together with unbelievers (II Cor. 6:14). We’re going to read that in a few minutes

Nor did he explain God’s mandate to the children of Israel to NEVER marry those of other faiths and the tragic consequences for doing so (Dt. 7:1-4). We’re going to read this right now
A Stern Warning
Brethren, it is here that the children of Israel are preparing to enter into Canaan after wandering for decades in a wilderness. However, being a wise and loving God, the Almighty recognized some potential threats His people would face in their new land. Thus, He cautioned them concerning a particular threat—one that could result in their utter destruction.

Here is how His servant Moses conveys this warning.
Deuteronomy 7:1-4

1. "When the LORD your God shall bring you into the land whither you go to possess it, and has cast out many nations before you, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than you;

2. "And when the LORD your God shall deliver them before you; you shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; you shalt make no covenant with them, nor show mercy unto them:”
He then presents the issue set before us today
Deuteronomy 7:3

3. "Neither shall you make marriages with them; your daughter you shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt you take unto your son.”
Here’s why:

4. "For they will turn away your son from following me that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy you suddenly.”.

Brethren, God’s instructions to the children of Israel through Moses represent a definite “Thus saith the Lord” moment complete with serious consequences for disobedience. Suffice it to say, His words are not to be trifled with.
It’s Been Tried Before

Regrettably, despite this warning, scores of God’s people today sincerely believe they can engage is such a union, with His blessing no less. Sadly it has been tried before.

King Solomon is a tragic example of someone who thought he could handle marrying outside the faith. And what he did was recorded in his obituary
I Kings 11:1-2

1. "But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh (the queen of Sheba), women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites:

2. Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel (a clear reference to Deuteronomy 7), Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.”
I Kings 11:4

4. "For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.”
Then in verse 9:
I Kings 11:9

9. "And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the LORD God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice,”

Now let’s go to Paul’s admonition in second Corinthians—and I suspect he was addressing this issue because it was a growing condition in the Church

Paul’s Admonition
II Corinthians 6:14

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:”

Here, Paul’s words seem pretty clear. But just in case you might doubt this he (Paul) then asks a series of rhetorical questions designed to strengthen the force of his admonition. Consider them:

“For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?

And what communion hath light with darkness?

And what concord hath Christ with Belial?

Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel (unbeliever)?

And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols?

...for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.”
Then in verse 17 he punctuates his point in a way that leaves no doubt concerning the seriousness of this issue.

17. "Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.”
Jesus Christ Concerning Loyalty

In the gospels the application of Deuteronomy 7 and II Corinthians 6 is expressed with even greater force. And its words come directly from the Messiah Himself.
Matthew 10:37

“He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
And I might add:

“He that loves the cute girl he met at the office more than me is not worthy of me.”

Brethren, what Christ is saying is really quite simple:

“Either I am demonstrably first in your life or you will never be demonstrably first in mine”
Returning to the story

Now let’s return to the story.

Brethren, here is the question I would proffer to the member counseling to marry someone who does not fully embrace his faith—and it’s a two-part question.

First, I would ask: what is the most important thing in his life?

And after listening to him profess his undying allegiance to the Lord God of heaven, I would ask the following. Furthermore, I would require an answer.

“How can someone who claims that the God of the Bible is the unqualified first in his life ever justify joining himself together with someone who will make no such declaration?”
And by the way this is the same question I would ask: Non-baptized members (in God’s Church) seeking to marry each other prior to their baptism.

Think about that for a moment…

We now come to Rule III.

Rule III

Respect Your Role in Marriage
Without Regret or Resentment
Brethren, for many in God’s Church today compliance with this particular rule may constitute the greatest challenge a marriage faces.

This is because there exists a moral imperative in the scriptures that requires a structural hierarchy in the union between a husband and wife. People may argue this point but it is demonstrably clear in the sacred writings. And I would submit to you that a breach of this hierarchy poses a clear and present danger to this sacred union and is potentially life threatening (to a marriage).

In other words, by ignoring this moral imperative or trying to negotiate your way around it, you can reach a point that will take you to a state that is irreconcilable.

Brethren, notice this moral imperative and the structural hierarchy it addresses
1 Corinthians 11:3

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ” (this is an undeniable non-negotiable Biblical fact); “and the head of the woman is the man” (this too is an undeniable non-negotiable Biblical fact;) “and the head of Christ is God” (this is also an undeniable non-negotiable Biblical fact.)

In business this is known as a “straight line” organizational configuration—A top down government. Moses was actually instructed to render judgments over ancient Israel employing this model.

But there is more.
Paul to the Ephesians
Paul’s words pertaining to this issue were also expressed in an epistle to the church at Ephesus
Ephesians 5:22

22. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

Here Paul is revealing that the hierarchical model between a husband and wife is specifically patterned after the hierarchical model employed between Christ and His Church

And nobody is arguing the legitimacy of that model. He continues:
Ephesians 5:23

23. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.

24. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
This is the standard God is applying!

Brethren, the organizational relationship between Christ and His Church is the example to be followed between a husband and wife. There is absolutely no other rendering that can be drawn from this. Paul’s words are without any scriptural dispute whatsoever although sadly, some endeavor to do just that.
Peter Concerning Wives

The apostle Peter also addressed the issue of a hierarchical structure within marriage and actually explained how a wife’s godly role in this hierarchy, can be instrumental in spreading the good news of God’s Kingdom.
I Peter 3:1-2

1. “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (conduct) of the wives;

2. While they behold your chaste conduct coupled with fear.”

Peter then offers a powerful example proving his point concerning the subordinate role of the wife toward her husband and by subordinate I don’t mean morally or spiritually inferior any more than I believe your boss at work is morally superior to you. It is about being structurally subordinate
I Peter 3:6

6. “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
Notice this is an Old Testament illustration that is eulogized by Peter as a Godly example of appropriate marital roles in the New Covenant. What it is saying is that the husband is the lord of the wife
Addressing Concerns
And now as we approach the conclusion, I would like to address two salient points regarding the issue that has been placed before us concerning our roles in marriage and what the Lord requires of us.

I do this because I know there are some strong differences of opinion here with each held by sincere, well-intended, God fearing, Bible believing, Christians

The first point is addressed in Ephesians 5. Please go there.
Ephesians 5:15

15. "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,”
Brethren, with these words, Paul is exhorting God’s people to conduct their lives in a way that is upright and honorable—one that reflects wisdom, as opposed to foolishness.

Then in verse 17:

17. “Wherefore be you not unwise, but [rather] understanding what the will of the Lord is.”
Brethren, it is clear that Paul is revealing that understanding God’s will is essential for a Christian to properly conduct his or her life in a way that reflects wisdom.

Then in verse 21 he illustrates this principle in the context of the marital relationship between a husband and wife. He continues:

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

Brethren, there are some who believe that these words are declaring that the role of leader in a marriage is a shared responsibility held by both the husband and his bride. Therefore, neither one Is exclusively the head and I have heard ministers make this claim.
What is the Truth?
But this is not what Paul is addressing at all, nor is this new understanding “the will of the Lord.” Here is why.

The term “submit” in this verse means to subordinate or surrender

However, it is not about subordinating or surrendering our structural roles in marriage, but rather subordinating our own will and surrendering our own self-interests in consideration of our mates and the roles they play

With respect to the wife, she is to subordinate her own will and surrender her own self-interests in consideration of her husband’s authority over their marriage

With respect to the husband, he is to subordinate his own will and surrender his own self-interests in consideration of his wife’s safety and well being

In truth, this passage is revealing how a husband and wife should express their devotion to each other. And brethren, this becomes demonstrably clear as Paul explains this principle in the very next verse beginning with the wife

Now as I read these verses, I am going to insert a parenthetical statement solely for the purpose of adding clarity the point Paul is undeniably making with regard to verse 21 and his exhortation for husbands and wives to submit themselves one to one another.

22. “Wives, (You subordinate your own will and surrender your own self-interests when you genuinely) submit yourselves unto your husbands, deferring to them as unto the Lord.”

Here’s why:

23. “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the savior of the body.”

24. Therefore (just) as the church is subordinate unto Christ, so shall you be [subordinate] to your husband in everything.”

Responsibilities of the Husband

Paul then addresses the husband and when doing so explains his hierarchical responsibilities. And trust me they are significant. Let’s pick it up in verse 25.

Once again, I am going to insert a parenthetical statement that links this exhortation back to verse 21.

25. “Husbands, [You subordinate your own will and surrender your own self-interests when you genuinely] love your wife more than your own life [which is the strongest of self-interests—your own preservation], even as Christ also [subordinated His will, [“not my will but thine”] because He was willing to surrender His self-interest, [His very life] so that His betrothed wouldn’t have to surrender hers.”
Listen carefully gentlemen:

Paul then explains that in keeping with the example of Christ and His betrothed (The Church) everything the husband does should be dedicated to the betterment of the wife (And I mean everything)

Gentlemen, this is your life’s mission, your moral duty and the prime directive governing your role as the leader in your marriage. It includes every decision you make as well as every action you take. Every one of them should be driven by your devotion to her and should be demonstrably evident to anyone who witnesses your leadership.

In other words, when they see you they see:

Her guardian—the one who stands between her and danger, and does so without any regard for his own personal safety

When they see you they see the one who protects her honor and safeguards her dignity

When they see you they see the one who:

encourages her spiritually,

comforts her emotionally, and

strengthens her intellectually

And most of all when they see you they see the one person on earth who cherishes her above all things under heaven

And gentlemen, when they see her they see subject of your attention and the object of your affection.
Following Christ’s Example
Gentlemen, this is what God’s apostle is saying and how Christ’s devotion to His betrothed is manifested as our example and the one Paul is exhorting us to emulate.

Then in Ephesians 5:26:

26. “That he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word

27. That he might present her to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that she should be holy and without blemish.”

Pristine

Perfect

Flawless

Unreprovable

Un-blamable

28. “So ought you to love your own wife (and that your dying breath should be dedicated to her becoming more like God and that every step of your life be committed to encouraging her in this pursuit)

29. and when doing this nourish and cherish her, even as the Lord nourishes and cherishes His betrothed:
The Point

Here is the point.

Despite opinions to the contrary, the organizational configuration in the family is an essential component of a God centered marriage and was created by a loving Father who was, is and always will be acutely aware of its transcendent purpose,

To this end, verse 21 is revealing that the preservation of a Christian marriage is totally dependent on the successful ex-e-cu-tion of its structural order as well as the rules that govern it

And those rules require that both the husband and the wife exercise genuine out going concern for their mate and that each demonstrate a sincere desire to put the interests of their spouse above their own
No Hint of a Change

With that said, there isn’t a hint in Paul’s words suggesting that the hierarchical roles God ordained from the beginning are no longer permanently affixed to the union He created in a beautiful garden

In other words, the husband is the head of the wife.

And the wife is the inspiration that encourages him in this role. This entire principle is summed up by Paul in the very last verse of this chapter.
Ephesians 5:33

“Nevertheless let every one of you [husbands] in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that you reverence your husband [as the head]”

A second point of contention

We now come to the second point of contention: It pertains to God’s judgment of Eve for eating of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The story is recorded in the third chapter of Genesis and ostensibly goes like this:

Eve eats the forbidden fruit

God discovers this and decides to investigate the matter

Upon completion of His investigation He identifies the offending parties which are: the serpent, Adam, and his wife

He then renders His judgment on each

Verse 16 records His pronouncement on Eve—and it is here that we find the source of considerable discussion as well as strong differences of opinion.

Listen carefully my friends.
Genesis 3:16

“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in sorrow you shalt bring forth children; and your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

Now brethren, there are some who suggest (based on this verse) that before Eve sinned man was not over the woman and that no such structural configuration existed. Those who hold this view believe that Adam & Eve worked in consort with each other—as a team not a hierarchy. There are even some commentaries that offer this opinion. And I have heard COG ministers say this.

Now brethren I don’t doubt for a minute that in the beginning their relationship was quite harmonious—even ideal—I absolutely believe that. However, with that said, it is inconceivable that Adam was not the leader of that team and that Eve was not absolutely certain of this fact.

Here are seven reasons why I draw this conclusion:

Listen Carefully my friends.
A Hierarchy from the Beginning

Reason One: God was and is the chief architect of marriage and He created it at the very beginning with a specific purpose in mind as well as a plan for it to work. That plan followed a model that was already in place in the third heaven where God Almighty presides over His creation as its hierarchical leader—something He most certainly would have revealed to the first people on earth. In other words, they knew who He was as well as the scope of His power and authority—including His sovereignty over their marriage


This being the case, marriage and all of its components has always been the product of Divine Will and is a reflection of the perfect structural order in His Eternal Kingdom. And because He is a just God and a loving Father He wouldn’t hesitate to instruct His children to emulate His perfect example when it came to their marriage. He certainly had no compunction about revealing this to His Church, why would it be any different with Adam & Eve?

Reason Two: Any objective examination of the facts recorded in the Genesis narrative would demonstrably reveal that Eve would have instinctively regarded Adam as the leader.

For example:

Adam was thoroughly familiar with her new environment in a way that would have distinguished him as an expert.

He had already personally cultivated and dressed the garden as well as inventoried and cataloged the animal kingdom within it.

To do this would require a keen understanding in such disciplines as botany, horticulture and even animal husbandry—all of which he possessed before Eve drew her first breath.

The point here is that Adam was not some neophyte that had no clue about the world in which Eve was placed. On the contrary, he was its premier human authority and she unquestionably knew it. In a very real sense Adam was the governor of an incredible estate—personally trained by an infinite God who (by the way) had a genuine stake in his success. Thus, it was incumbent upon Him to make sure Adam possessed the requisite skills necessary to not only effectively manage and care for the estate but also to share his wisdom concerning its operation with a companion specifically created for him—a companion who knew that she was literally fashioned from his flesh and bone—a fact she actually acquired from Adam himself
More Evidence

Add to that Adam personally gave Eve her name and with it an identity unique to her.
Most Importantly

And perhaps most importantly, Eve was created “for the man” and when presented to him it was as his helpmate and not the other way around.

The point here is that everything about their early relationship lent itself to Eve regarding Adam as a genuine authority in her life and the one she would look to for guidance including spiritual guidance and moral leadership

Remember Adam was the one to whom God provided His instructions concerning two pivotal trees in the midst of the garden—not to mention he was an eye witness when God created the Sabbath and sanctified it. As such it is inconceivable that the Almighty would neglect to reveal to him what it all meant—and why Adam was the logical candidate to share that knowledge with his wife

Reason Three: The marriage of Adam and Eve occurred prior to Satan’s entrance into their lives. And as the one who personally joined them together it is undeniably certain that God would provide guidance concerning the hierarchical responsibilities they would assume. He certainly did this to the children of Israel when he defined their role in a marriage covenant

Reason Four: When referencing the marriage of Adam and Eve Paul specifically stated that it pictured a future wedding between Christ and His Church (Eph. 5:21-22) and when doing so revealed that the relationship between a husband and wife (including Adam and Eve) should reflect the same structural integrity

Reason Five: At no time when explaining these roles did Paul ever remotely hint that what he was doing was perpetuating a penalty imposed on Eve because divine justice required it. Despite what some now argue, it just didn’t happen. In truth Paul cited Christ and His Church not Eve and her sin when identifying the inspiration behind the God ordained hierarchical positions in marriage. And for people to argue it the other way around (and I know those who do) is not only reckless but patently false.

Brethren, think for a moment what this new argument is suggesting. According to it God’s righteous and eternal government that reigns supreme in the third heaven, with Him at the top of its hierarchy, is actually acting out a curse for a sin that took place on earth.

Does anyone honestly believe this?

Reason Six: When writing to the evangelist Timothy, Paul specifically stated that a husband’s entrance into God’s service was predicated on his ability to assume authority over his entire household, which would obviously include his marriage. His exact words when describing the qualifications of a bishop were:

“One that rules well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity; For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?”

And by logical extension:

“If a man cannot rule his own house, how will he be able to rule in God’s Kingdom?”

Here is the point

Brethren, if God would inspire Paul to impart His marital wisdom to the early New Testament Church why wouldn’t He provide the same marital wisdom to a couple he was personally going to join together in marriage at the beginning

Reason Seven: Brethren, you may never have considered it, but under this new belief, it is metaphysically impossible to reconcile the words recorded in Genesis (which describes a penalty, that God certainly derived no joy or pleasure in imposing) with the words recorded in multiple epistles (which describe a behavior that actually reflects His righteous Son’s love and devotion toward His betrothed as well as her love and devotion toward him) which is something that does give God GREAT JOY and PLEASURE.

The simple truth is that despite what some argue the penalty described in Genesis is not a referendum on the hierarchy taught by God’s servants in the New Testament

On the contrary, the exact opposite is true and HERE’S WHY. Buckle up everyone.
Reconciling the Scriptures

Brethren, this might come as a surprise but there actually is one way, and only one way, these passages can be reconciled making them compatible and not contrary as we find them in the current debate. And that one way is if the Genesis account is not referring to the creation of a hierarchy as so many argue, but rather what took place as a result of its breach.

And that is exactly what God’s judgment of the woman is revealing. Furthermore, there exists compelling evidence that bears this out. Consider what we know as well as what we can reasonably conclude based on this knowledge:

For example:
What did God mean?

First: We know that God’s prohibition against eating the forbidden fruit was given to Adam, not his wife. Eve wasn’t even alive at the time.

Second: However, we also know that at some point Eve had to be aware of this prohibition as evidenced by her conversation with the serpent

Third: Based on this knowledge, it is reasonable to conclude that Adam was the one who presented the LORD’S instructions to her (which is the prevailing opinion among some scholars).

Fourth: It has even been suggested that Adam provided God’s instructions when introducing Eve to the garden after God had presented her to him

With that said, John Gill’s commentary offers an interesting thought. It implies that what God was doing with His pronouncement was informing Eve that because of her transgression by failing to honor her husband’s instructions, Adam would now treat her differently.

Unlike the compassionate leadership he provided prior to her sin He would now rule over her with “less kindness and with more rigor and strictness.” And I might add: This is much the same way a newlywed husband today might react if he came home from work and discovered his wife had just dropped $2,000 on a set of encyclopedias because the salesman was so nice and told her it was a great investment.

With respect to Eve, she was charmed into disobedience. The apostle Paul referred to it as being “beguiled,” And as a result God informed her that Adam would now micro-manage their marriage because he could no longer trust her. Furthermore, this is what she would have to endure for the rest of her life.
John Gill concerning Eve’s Guilt

Dr. Gill expressed it this way:

“This was her chastisement, because she did not seek the advice of her husband about eating the fruit, but did it of herself (of her own self will), without his will and without his consent (Permission)”

In truth, the judgment of Eve was not about eating fruit. It was about going contrary to a very specific command from God Almighty and conveyed to her by the one person on earth empowered to do so—her husband and might I add—HER PROTECTOR.
A Word of Caution

To that I would like to add the following:

Brethren, I would caution anyone against believing that the structural hierarchy in a God centered marriage is somehow the penalty for a trespass that occurred in a place called Eden.

In truth, this great moral imperative represents an eternal principle powerfully articulated without reservation or qualification by God’s apostle to the Jews (Peter) as well as His apostle to the gentiles (Paul) not to mention numerous examples from some of the greatest women in scripture such as Ruth, Ester Sarah, Mary, Lydia, Phebe, as well as the virtuous woman described in proverbs and even Rahab to name just a few
A Living Portrait

In a very real sense this structural model and the rules governing it—as described in Ephesians 5 represents a living portrait of our very destiny as the companion of the King of kings and Lord of lords. To see it as anything else is to sell that destiny short and brethren, I for one am not prepared to do that.
Summation
Finally, I am fully persuaded that if we can truly comprehend the spiritual underpinnings of marriage and its transcendent purpose as well as embrace Christ as the unqualified hierarchical leader in our marriage and our life we will come to deeply appreciate the roles He has personally ordained for us now as a type of the ones we will enjoy as His bride for all eternity.

A Final Thought:

With that I would like to leave you with a final thought—words that were eloquently expressed in a poem given by a man named Larry Cheeves, a loving father to his newly married daughter, Diana and her husband, Brice. They were presented in the form of a toast at their reception and truly capture the essence of the message you have just heard today.

The poem is titled For Diana and Brice and goes like this:
“For Diana and Brice”
I stood over her crib as Diana lay there;
In the darkness and silence I offered a prayer
That God would be gracious her entire life,
And when the time comes He would make her the wife
Of a man of His choosing, who would shelter and lead,
Protect all her dreams and fulfill every need.
God answered my prayer and He finished the task,
And He sent her a man who was all that I’d asked.
Diana,
You are his helpmate, you must hold up his hands,
And comfort when duties seem more like demands.
You must love, honor, cherish, yes and obey—
Not the whims of a tyrant, but a man, who will say
And do the things that inspire allegiance and trust,
So “obey” means “I want to” more than “I must.”
Brice,
As Christ loves His Church you are called to provide
Love and protection; be a friend and a guide
Next to God, she comes first, then the children she bears,
You must give them attention before other cares.
As you work in a world that’s more taking than giving,
Remember you’re making a life—not a “living.”
So I charge you, Brice, as she clings to your side,
Cherish my daughter as Christ loves His bride.

To that I can only offer an Amen.

Brethren, it’s been an honor.

Volume II
Defending God's Sabbath

DIRECTORY